Category Archives: musings

Turning Off

Posted in consumer, musings, myself on by

I’ve been analyzing and stressing over my budget this week (as opposed to all the other weeks?) and have come up with a way to save a little money. Just a very little, I’m sure, but right now my “expenses” are already fairly pared down. I ask myself, what more can I do? So, I’ve decided to turn off my computer. From Sunday morning until I get home from work Monday night, the computer will be off. Usually during that time, while I’m awake, I’m checking my email hourly or looking up stuff on IMDb. But starting today, no more!

The reward should be two-fold. One, I should use just a wee less electricity each month. Two, I should find something else to do with my time. Don’t get me wrong, I will still be watching a lot of movies – that’s what I do – but I will hopefully fill some of the void with more writing, more reading of books, more listening to music. More thinking, really.

It’s like kicking away one’s crutches, but I think I’ll be fine.

Reading of the Words

Posted in musings, pop culture on by

So I get this “comment” the other day, and I’m not really sure what to think about it. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, it’s entirely possible that the “real” DJ Shadow happened upon this page and decided to post a comment using an email address he acquired from a free service. Not probable, but possible. Assuming this is one of those spam comments attempting to get free access to my pages, it’s actually kind of impressive. Usually the spam is from a Russian domain, with either a sputtering of nonsense, generic platitudes (“this good site. i like read it.” or something), or a pricelist for generic drugs. In other words, 100% obvious. This one, however, is a bit deceptive.

DJ Shadow

you are so bukowski
without the drink.
you are the spirit of bukowski
without the stink.

Mar 16, 2:42 PM

A quick search doesn’t give me any info on the rhymes. Perhaps they are meaningful to someone else out there. It doesn’t really matter.

For quite a while, I’ve really wanted to read Bukowski. Several people who I like have declared Bukowski one of their favorite authors. When people I like, like something, I automatically want to know more about it. Not necessarily so I can like it, too, but to gain some additional insight into the minds of those people. So far, I haven’t read anything. I tried watching a documentary about the author, including plenty of archival footage of the man himself. But after about 30 minutes, I was bored to death. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll read one of his books before too much more time passes. Maybe.

I finally finished reading Blindness earlier this week. I started reading it on 28 Jan. The last 30 pages took FOREVER. By that time there were no more startling revelations, just preparation for a conclusion. I nearly stopped reading it, but I really couldn’t guess how it was going to end. Actually, I did guess that everyone was going to die – not within the time frame of the book, but that the last pages would essentially declare that soon after one has stopped reading their story all the characters would be dead. (if that makes sense) Initially, upon finally reading the last word, I was disappointed in the ending. It seemed meaningless and incongruous to all that had lead up to that moment. The next morning, when I was discussing with myself why it was meaningless, it all of a sudden had loads of meaning. Well, perhaps not loads, but still, more than none. Now I can watch the movie, eventually. At least that won’t take two months.

Alien 3 – The Real Story

Posted in cinema, fiction, musings, pop culture, prose on by

Netflix has made available, for a limited time, the first three Alien movies on Instant Watching. So, this weekend I decided to have a little marathon. I’d seen the first two, and it was nice to see them again. The only difficult part was watching the chest-bursting scene in Alien – I could not stop seeing it with a little top hat and cane. It was also nice to see Veronica Cartwright. I didn’t realize she was in the first movie, and I know her best for her time on “The X-Files”. This was my first time watching the third film, and I didn’t much care for it. I did like the medic, and was sad to see him go without a fight, but the whole movie was just a bit…. off. Afterwards, I spent way too much time on IMDb finding out what other people thought. But now, I have come up with my own idea of what should have happened. I’m sure plenty of people have had the same or similar idea.

Instead of crash landing on the prison planet, Ripley, Hicks, and Newt find their way back to a Company outpost, where they get to be a family for a while. Ripley probably teaches at flight school, but otherwise their lives are quite normal. Meanwhile, a quiet rebellion is stirring against the Company. It is a general uprising, with their treatment of the Aliens only a small issue among many. Naturally, Ripley’s family is kept in the loop, but she and Hicks try their best to stay out of it. By themselves, however, they often ponder the origins of the Alien – was it their ship that crashlanded on LV-whatever, or were they stowaways? (My theory is that they were outgrowing their home planet and were sent out to colonize other worlds. If the humans had time to research, they would have found on the Hadley’s Hope computers record of a transmission sent by the Aliens to their home planet saying all was well.) Ten years pass and evidence is found of another infestation on another planetoid in the system. Up till now there was only speculation that the Aliens had made it anywhere else. This causes Ripley and Hicks to spring into action, as they are the only humans who’ve come face to face with the Aliens. They leave Newt behind to complete her higher education, but find and abduct Bishop to run off with the rebellion to eliminate the new crop. Fighting ensues. There is a victor. Humans? Aliens? We’ll never know.

Happy Freaking New Year

Posted in musings, prose, silliness on by

My initial thought when I recall 2008 is that it pretty much sucked. Personal and professional stagnation, two significant deaths, all overshadowed my year. If I let myself think a little more, there were some good points. Travel, both for business and pleasure, is always a good thing, and I made several trips in the last twelve months. The recent election surpassed my expectations. I’m kind of at a loss, though, for anything else. So, I won’t talk about the past, and I’m not really in the mood to speculate about the future. All I will say is, ‘good riddance 2008!’.

My writing group, however, continues to inspire me. To lighten the mood, I give to you now tonight’s product of impromptu scribbling, a poem about peanut butter (sort of).

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Christmas Is Not My Bag

Posted in memories, musings, myself, rant, society on by

I haven’t celebrated Christmas for sixteen years. I haven’t wanted to for more than I can remember. Growing up in an ostensibly Christian family, however, it was hard to avoid as a child. In my house, for me, Christmas was veritable torture. Oh sure, I got presents, and we had a big party, and I got two weeks off from school which allowed me to spend a whole week with my mom.

It started with putting up the tree. The task of decorating was left to my sister and me, and it just wasn’t something I liked to do. Christmas decorations don’t appeal to me aesthetically, and it only seemed like another chore.  Luckily, most of the gift shopping was done by my step-mother, but I still had to wrap everything. Wrapping presents itself is pretty enjoyable; seeing all the meaningless gifts we were giving to people was disheartening. I know people who buy Christmas gifts early in the year, generic gifts for no one in particular, but knowing they were going to have a list later – these are gifts I want nothing to do with.

On Christmas Eve, preparations started early in the day. Pack up the gifts for the extended family, finish baking cookies and other goodies, wash up and get hair put in rollers, get dressed and go to church for the twilight service. None of this was especially gruelling. And the party after church at my grandparents’ house was always much fun. Good food, fun with my cousins, warmth from the fireplace, more presents. It was great, at least until I was a preteen. Then, because I was a girl, I was made to help all the women clean up at the end of the festivities. None of my girl cousins had to help – their mother wanted them to have fun. I was resentful.

Things got worse for me around 14. It was about that time I realized I didn’t (still don’t) believe in Christ as our savior. What had become more chore than joyous occasion had now become completely meaningless. I’m not the type to make waves, so I kept my thoughts to myself, and I went through the motions. It ate at me, though, because I really don’t think it’s right for someone to celebrate or observe a holiday that is not “theirs” (I struggle with this on Halloween, my second favorite holiday).

As time goes by, it’s not only the spiritual disconnect that makes me dislike Christmas. The crass commercialization of an event that is supposed to be (for some) the defining moment for a whole religion is revolting. The Christians who are mortally offended by atheist placards should be burning down shopping malls for desecrating the image and symbolism of their savior. And why aren’t they? Because they like to get the latest gadgets wrapped in red and green, too, I guess. F-ing hypocrites.

Christmas, like Easter, was created by Romans to trick pagans into converting to Christianity. I’m neither a Christian nor a pagan, so I think I’ll stay out it.

Drunk Girl, Observations on a Night Out

Posted in musings, society on by

Her one thought, ‘will he want me?’ All she did from 6:30 pm onward based on this premise. The hair, the makeup, the dress. All meant to please him. All based on some arbitrary notion of what would please him. Never mind that he was oblivious to it all. All that mattered to him was that she was there. That she was with him, for him only. He didn’t notice the strategic dress; the strange colors painted on her face only confused him when he thought about it. So he didn’t think. Only felt – the rhythm of the music, the grazing of her hands on his arms, his torso. That was all he really needed to tell him she wanted him. Even if it was wishful thinking it was all he had to go on. And so he would take it, and he would take her. And she would give herself to him.

Prognostication on FOX

Posted in musings, pop culture, society on by

So, recently I decided to watch the old FOX TV series The Lone Gunmen, a decidedly more silly spin-off from The X-Files. I’ve got through 10 of the 13 episodes and two crazy coincidences have shown themselves.

One, in the pilot episode, original airdate 4 March 2001: A hijacked airliner was being piloted into the World Trade Center in NYC.

Two, in episode ten, original airdate 27 April 2001: Some top secret software was about to be handed over to some unscrupulous people. When it is discovered by the Gunmen what the software was for (a radar cloaking system), one of them says something to the effect of “Saddam Hussein could put this on a Cessna and fly it right into the Whitehouse.”

Perhaps this is why the series was canceled before a second season could begin in the fall.

Or maybe it was just a dumb show.